Our 1st fight

I have a confession to make. Two weeks after becoming married, I stopped wearing my engagement ring. Well, this caused me and my newlywed husband, to have our 1st marital disagreement.

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My engagement ring on our wedding day. Photo by: Melissa Mercado Photography

Let me explain. I love love my engagement ring. I also love my wedding band. While my engagement ring is perfect and beautiful, I didn’t feel the need to wear it, everyday. I spend most of my days at home cooking, cleaning, and writing. I usually only leave our place to go shopping.

I always take my rings off when cleaning, working out, or going into the pool/ocean. I take great care of them, because they do mean so much to me.

One day, at dinner, two weeks after becoming married, I pointed out to my husband I wasn’t wearing my ring. This wasn’t the first time I had gone without my engagement ring, since we had become married. I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. I was still wearing my wedding band. His reaction was unexpected. I figured he wouldn’t care, but I was wrong. He cared a great deal. He was offended.

I never before thought what the ring meant to him. He put time, love, and effort into picking out the best ring for me. After a woman is gifted her engagement ring it all becomes about her, and the wedding day.

I don’t know how to explain this, but it’s never been about the ring for me. After we became engaged, I wasn’t that girl posting pictures of my ring on social media. I never wanted anyone to think it was about getting that ring, it never was for me. It has always been about the love and the promise of a lifetime with this Incredible man. I wanted the focus to be on that, and not the Bling.

I’ve always said, I would be happy with a nice gold band. I never told my husband about diamonds. We never went looking at diamond rings. My husband gifted me with a beautiful diamond engagement ring from Tiffany and Co. Of course, when he proposed, I immediately fell in love with it. I continue to receive lovely compliments about it, which I sincerely appreciate. Like most newly engaged women, I would immediately stick my hand out after we told someone we had gotten engaged.

About a month after being engaged, we went to a restaurant. My husband knew the waitress. He told her we recently became engaged, because he was also a proud fiancé. I did the normal “here look at my ring” hand gesture.  She had also recently become engaged. She showed us her ring, and her diamond was tiny. In that moment, she showed me, reminded me, no matter the size, it’s about the love. She was just as excited about her engagement. She was just as in love with her fiancé. That’s when I decided to stop showing off my ring to people when we told them about our engagement. I never want to be the kind of woman that would unintentionally make another woman feel bad about what she was gifted. Everyone’s love deserves to be celebrated, not just the ring.

Back to our 1st newlywed disagreement. I never stopped to think about what my engagement ring meant to my husband. He looked for months at different places. He asked friends opinions about rings he was looking at for me. He had to sneak around and find time when we weren’t together. He even downloaded the Tiffany and Co. application on his phone. He made people promise not to tell me he was looking at rings, because he wanted it to be a true surprise, which it was. This ring not only meant an eternal promise, but also his pride on picking out the most perfect ring for me. Finally, I had to put myself in his shoes. I had to take into account how special it really was to the man who has loved and supported me. After dinner, I went and put my engagement ring back on. I always make sure to wear my rings together.

I Love this man. Our wedding day with both my rings and hands around him. Photo by: Melissa Mercado Photography

I Love this man. Our wedding day with both my rings and hands around him. Photo by: Melissa Mercado Photography

The best part of marriage is learning how to have those disagreements, and being able to see something from someone else’s perspective. I think that’s called growth, right? In our 1st disagreement, I’ll admit it, my husband was right.

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