So… what do you do all day?

Is the typical question I get asked, after I tell someone I don’t have a “job”. “Job”, as in, I don’t have a boss to answer to. I don’t have an office space to claim. I don’t have emails to respond to or voicemails to check. I don’t have meetings to schedule throughout my day. I don’t have a W4 form to fill out. It’s been over 2yrs since I can claim taxes, and, say this is who I am (insert job title here) when someone asks, “what do you do for a living?”
Next question is usually, “Don’t you get bored doing nothing all day?” Answer: I don’t do nothing all day. No, I’m never bored. “Don’t you get lonely?” Nope.
I realize people have questions. I don’t mind answering. I don’t have children to raise. I’m not researching the cure to any diseases. I’m not volunteering for a noble cause.
So, what do I do all day? Who am I without the job title?
Most people work to live. A lot of people have jobs and careers they can’t wait to talk about when they meet a new person. It let’s them know they must be important, right? Even if this is not you or me, we all know at least one person whose identity is one with his/her job title. I was one of those people. I was whole heartedly committed to my career. As I believed I should’ve been. I loved working for a living. I’ve always been an independent, goal oriented, addicted to busy kind of woman. I was also overworked and underpaid. That didn’t matter because I loved to work. I was a proud Latina workhorse, pushing someone else’s agenda always for better results/numbers/profit.
Then, it all changed. How?
I found myself in a long distance relationship. A new me was awakened. A part of me I knew existed, was laying dormant until he came crashing back into my life. He opened a place in my heart that was closed to everyone else. He brought new purpose to my everyday living. When love hits, you’re no longer in control. I tried to control it, but failed. Our energy started to consume my every thought and day. My days started to become a countdown to when we could see one another, again. 1 month, 2 weeks, 1 day… my life became the waiting game till next time. I would cry with every airport kiss goodbye. I would return home heartbroken and empty without him. Yep, I’d fallen dangerously in love.
Home is where the heart is. Fact. It became painfully clear my heart was across the country living in San Francisco. What’s a girl to do? Follow her heart. That meant I left behind everything familiar.
I thought the world would come to an end if I ever left my family. It didn’t. I thought my family would disown me. They didn’t. I thought my family wouldn’t understand. They did. After all, I was 30yrs old, not 20 running off with my 1st love. With nothing but my open heart on my sleeve, I made a leap of faith and moved to California. It turned out to be the best decision of my life.
I looked for work, I did. I didn’t plan on becoming a “stay at home girlfriend/fiancĂ©/wife”. It just kind of happened. Our 1st two years of our relationship took us on numerous adventures throughout the world together. My love told me, “you must be willing to travel the world with me”, when we started dating. He really meant it, and it didn’t make sense for me to start a new job when we were always traveling. I have never depended on any man outside of my father in my life. However, my boyfriend (now husband) offered me an opportunity of a lifetime. He never said, “I don’t want you to work.” He has always stated, “I want you to be happy, whatever that means I support you. That means I don’t want you to worry about having to work to pay the bills, we’re o.k. I got us.” We’ve had this conversation more than once. It always reminds me of how loving and supportive he is of me pursuing my dreams. I’ve been gifted the opportunity to discover who I am and who I want to be going forward. It took time. It took patience. It took prayer. It took the courage to start writing, again.
So, what do I do all day?
I write. Plus, a bunch of other super important stuff, like talk to my mama, and mi prima hermana Cheryl. I enjoy my morning tea. I make some pretty yummy dinners. I clean, kind of, sort of, the basics, ya know. I read. I dance. I laugh, a lot. I workout. I take walks. I write poems. Maybe, I’ll share those, one day. Maybe, not. That’s a whole other step of courage. I’ve learned the most courageous thing is to be able to accept love, give love, and be open to the journey wherever it may lead. Everyone is on a different journey, this one happens to be mine right now.
So, what do I do all day? I’m living La Vida Sunshine.

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